My 20 Minute Plan for returning “CHAZ” or the Capital Hill Autonomous Zone, an area of the United States in open, armed rebellion, to the Control of the United States once again, but maybe not to Seattle:
1) A Federal negotiator needs to find someone in control in “CHAZ” and meet with him on the border. Lacking someone in control, an able bodied person smart enough to walk and chew gum, if not at the same time. The Fed will tell, not negotiate, but TELL this person defined above, that they have twenty minutes to line up, turn in their firearms, get photographed, fingerprinted and DNA-typed. Anyone without a warrant will be let go, anyone eligible to own a firearm that turned one in (providing it is not stolen) will have it returned at a later date.
2) All United States Citizens (non-rebelling actual residents) residing within the borders of “CHAZ” are immediately deputized as Special US Marshals. If any of them that are hurt everyone within the borders of “CHAZ” not so deputized will be charged Federally. If any of the said deputized persons are killed, EVERYONE IN “CHAZ” NOT SO DEPUTIZED WILL FACE THE FEDERAL DEATH PENALTY FOR KILLING A FEDERAL AGENT.
3) At the appointed time, the US Army and US Marines will retake “CHAZ”. Anyone not disarmed and in the line to get out of “CHAZ” will be considered an enemy combatant and will be shot if they resist.
4) You now have 19 minutes.
5) In 19 minutes send in the troops. Remind them that the people in “CHAZ” have declared themselves a free and independent nation, and none of them should be considered US Citizens anymore, but hostile enemy combatants.
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